Resisting Change and Living in the Past
We all hold onto habits and ways of thinking that are most familiar to us. Most of us want to avoid drastic changes in our lives because it creates discomfort and uncertainty – but doing so can also keep us trapped in self-destructive mindsets that actually cause far more pain and discomfort.
What may have worked for us in the past may no longer be the best approach in the present, and we should always be evaluating, testing, and adjusting our beliefs and actions.
These are unprecedented times for most of us, and if we are going to emerge stronger and better than when we started, embracing change is something we should all be working towards.
Setting Unrealistic Goals
Once we’ve decided to move out of our rigid ways of thinking, we have to figure out what we’re now moving towards. While it’s important to dream big, it’s also important to make sure that we can reach the goals that we’ve set for ourselves – otherwise we can become discouraged too quickly and give up.
Big dreams and big changes are reached by identifying multiple smaller goals and achieving each of those one step at a time. Take your time to figure out what those smaller goals should be, ask for help when you’re stuck, and make sure that you’re giving yourself plenty of encouragement when you succeed – and forgiveness when you don’t.
Avoiding Help When Times Get Tough
Burnout is real. Avoiding help is another result of holding onto a fixed mindset and not allowing yourself to embrace change. Your goals won’t be achieved by earning extra credit points for trying to do everything on your own – find a mentor, a therapist, or a coach to help you work through rigid thoughts that are preventing you from reaching the dreams that you are working towards.
Relying Too Much on Others for Your Sense of Self-worth
Most of us are guilty of this far more that we may want to admit. We look to others for validation so that they can provide us with tokens and signals that make us believe that we’re valuable, loved, and accepted. While this is completely natural and one of the ways that we have evolved to connect with people, some people have developed an unhealthy dependency on it.
We cannot control how others think or behave, and therefore when we rely on others to help us determine our worth we are relinquishing control over our own self-esteem. One of the most common ways people do this is through obsessive social media interactions. It’s easy to get quick likes and agreement among like-minded people in your friends group, but ultimately you are feeding into an emotionally unhealthy echo-chamber that is reinforcing insecurities more than they are building your confidence.